sucker of a start !

It was a horrible start ! Man ! From work point of view.

I was woken up rudely from sleep by the operatiopns team calling from client site. There was some locha in the cycle and I had to get it going again.
That was on Jan 1st 2012.

I has 1-1 with my manager. And I wasted it like water. I gave an impression that "it was the happiest working place ever..working for 12 hours a day was the nicest thing to do..and all I am expecting is more work to keep me happy " When I walked out of the room.. I felt soo dumb.

Jan 3rd.

I had to run a job ( mainframe language it is) on 4th. But I scheduled it a day before.A mistake. A very bad,silly mistake , which left us hungry,sleepless and restless.
The entire day was spent trying to cover the damage.

The promos dont look promising.I can hear "This is just the beginning lady !"  echoing .
Fingers crossed!

Some random things....

1)Life has been good.Always.Maybe because I dint expect much from life.I am usually content with what I have and appreciate it.

2)I strongly believe in Service to humanity is Service to God. I dont go about praying and performing puja everyday.It has to be inside you. Helping a beggar with some change gives me more satisfaction than spending 10 min praying.

3)I realised that when I want something badly and pray for it, or wish for it, it eludes me.

4)I laugh at my mistakes.A hearty one. That helps me bear myself.Or I would have been dead meat by now.

5)I live to eat.

6)I love myself.

7)I get inspired easily.I continuoulsy change myself to make myself better. Anything that impresses me,I try to incorporate that in my life. I think before every action..I introspect after my every action. I make a mental note of "Dont do it again" if my action was "wrong" or hurt anybody.
So I dont know who I actually am.
I dont know my definition.
I am continually changing, for the better.

8)I am tired of  trying to be the mature/good human being. Sometimes I want to let go...and do things without bothering about the consequences.

9)When I am waiting... I can think of nothing but that I AM WAITING

10)Songs, these days are heavily dependent on music. You just cannot hum them if there is no music. And its very colloqial..less poetic.
teri meri ..meri teri..prem kahani hai mushkil....its just the permutation and combinationof words...

11)Five good songs  in a row..in paach pataka on FM cheers me up.The drive to office is more bearable then.
But that  rarely happens .

12)I changed a lot in 5 years. I hated myself back then. I was that stupid,overtly-self-conscious introvert.
Now,I am NOT :)

13)We have panipuri every single night..while going back home from office, followed by coconut water.
This is one thing that I love most about us.

14)I know almost all the panipuri wallahs in my locality. They know me too.

15)I love Hyderabad.It gave me koti,charminar and general bazar. And ofcourse a lot of fabulous restaurants. And a gupchup bandi at every corner.

16)I hate Hyderabad.It gave me only those.

17)Plz is as good as not saying Please at all. Same with Thx or wc. I hate these shortcuts.

18) Bad is attractive.

19) Maggi and Panipuri are the simplest, tastiest,cheapest, easiest food on earth. I can live on them.And ofcourse   dal  Chawal. And aloo fry. And ice gola. And enuf !

20) You can tell I am the simplest person on earth when I say
       I like Vanilla.

The invisible photographer

Happiness doesnt come knocking..nor can that be planned.Life's some of the best moments are least expected. And when we are least prepared.

The first time you sneezed when you were just a newborn.. That toothless smile which can only repeat when you are 80 , The beautiful sunrise, When you are helping a 5 yr old finish her math homework and are clueless as to how to explain her quotient and reminder..The time when you shouted your lungs out while riding your scooty...When you oiled your hair and neatly combed them into 2 plaits..and looked awful..When you broke into a jig unknowingly when your favourite song started playing...When you laughed till your stomach ached,tears streaming down your cheeks,the only thought running through your mind is "when will I laugh like this again..", The thrill of a surprise gift , There is a production abend..and you and your team is working frantically to get things right,tension mounting..time slipping... brains working...That evening when my wedding date was fixed ..you should have seen my dad's face,happy like a child..rushing to me with the news ,happiness writ large on his face and many pairs of moist eyes around..That special someone said something nice that tugged at your heartstrings..the emotion..the moment that you shared with him are matchless..timeless..and precious..

These were moments in your life that were important to you, affected you in some way, good or bad or neither..and they remain with you as memories , as feelings, but like many other things, get lost in hordes of other memories.

As time passes..we are left with only memories..and as more time passes, even memory leaves us.

This is when I wish, wish God created a photographer too.an invisible one.. who would stay by my side..capture everything on his lens.. when i cry..when i laugh..when i shout..when i frown..And when the time comes where I have time for myself, I can rewind, unwind and relive my past.

I think camera is the best thing man created. .. the moment is paused.and it remains with u forever .Ofcourse unless you lose it.

Shubh DiWaLi !

The festival of lights is here... in all its glory. It was my favourite festival when I was a kid, burning crackers, lighting up the house , aarthi in the evening.. it was all there..the festive air !

But for the past 3 years , it has been a silent dowali..for me. Green Diwali. No crackers.

Here is wishing you all, a very happy Diwali !

lOVe

We thought it was the coolest thing we did , 5 years ago, on this very day. We professed love for each other and were glad the feeling was mutual.We were revelling in our new-found relationship..unaware of the challenges life was going to throw at us...not knowing what to expect..careless about our future..we were selfish. It was just "us" then.

I am happy the "us" still remains.Solidly intact. :)

It had more to it than just movies,roaming around on bikes, having panipuri on the roadside, bunking classes, chatting for hours, surprise gifts and saying "I Love You"

Its not about cosy postures that the movie posters show , its not at all about romantic punchlines, long drives, romantic dinners , wearing same coloured dresses, pick ups and drops...This is just the rosy picture..

There is more to it than meets the eye.

There was a time when a small gift, a long drive, occasional lunches, complimenting each other meant love.Atleast, it was a way of showing that you love him/her.
And then comes change.A big one.

Love, like anything else, evolves.It cannot remain in that stage forever.It starts demanding maturity.And strength. Its not the cosy postures anymore.There will be lesser gifts. Love is being happy despite these. Love is knowing he still loves you. Love is  knowing he is still there for you.

For me , its a great learning experience.I know myself now like never before. I was like on the road to self-discovery where I was sure startled by my unpleasant traits.
I came face-to-face with the other side of me which I never knew existed.
We were bettering eachother, overcoming our flaws.Yes, flaws. Nobody is perfect.

A lot of things changed over these 5 years. And a lot din't.

We still fight, but for better reasons.

We still disagree, but learnt to accept gracefully.

We still gift each other, not monetory now-a-days.

I still feel jealous, but learnt to brush it off.

We still shout at each other, but we understand.

This is where we stand now. And I am proud of where we are :)