I don't remember when I started being okay to being called an 'Aunty'. In my country, anybody you don't know and is older than you, is an Aunty. And it is somehow not a good thing, because it meant you are old. Until a few years ago, I used to scream when someone introduced me as an aunty to their kid. The transition was so smooth, I did not even realize when I had become one.
Have I used the word Aunty enough to put you off now? If not yet, please read on.
I am wondering now what exactly happened. Do I really feel older? Or did I just give up ? I am bordering 30 now, but still feel young. Feel is the catch word, not look. So stop rolling your eyes. So as I was saying, I have the same zest for life like I had 10 years ago. So what changed?
Is it because I am no longer that care-free person with few things on mind and fewer things to worry about ? I am suddenly responsible for so many things in life, like that month-end deliverable, weekend laundry, daily breakfast-lunch-dinner routine, keeping my blog alive, managing my hundreds of interests, that I am feeling all grown-up? And like an icing on the cake of worries, this nagging feeling of 'what-am-I-doing-with-my-life!' as if I am going to die soon. Is it because I am acting more and more out of maturity and obligation and less and less out of how I actually feel? Has it to do with the fact that I do something because its the right thing to do and not because I want to do? I learn to let go because holding on is not an option sometimes? Winning is no more the fire that keeps me burning, but keeping peace is ?
Yeah, I think that's when it all changed.
I grew up. Everybody does, I guess. I am freaking out from inside that I am aging slowly.. touching 30 this year, but more than the number, its the feeling of growing old that is pushing buttons in my mind.
I gotto worry less. Worry. Will I ever stop doing that ?
This reminds me of a question I saw on Facebook. What would you do if you woke up and realized that all these years you lived was just a dream. I would immediately go back to sleep, I answered in my mind. I didn't want to re-do these 29 years. Why did I feel like that, I wonder.
What would you do ?
And how are you handling aging ?
The answer is definitely this :
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed your blog and perspective. I also wrote a blog on aging as my A choice. The only difference is that I'm 73 and still going strong. So the aging process is a bit different for me.
@Bill_Gutman from
Bill's Blog - Looking Back
I was on another blog when they were talking about the term Aunty; I didn't realize what it meant in some cultures until explained there and further explained here. Age is so subjective. We may be 60 years, but act and feel so much younger. We may be 30 and act and feel older. I think we all eventually get to the point where we accept whatever age we happen to be at.
ReplyDeletebetty
http://viewsfrombenches.blogspot.com/
I am in my 30s too and I agree with something you mentioned in this post - winning used to keep me going when I was younger, now it does feel like keeping the peace is the main motivation. Now I let my children win all the time :)
ReplyDeleteOpen Minded Mormon A-Z
Enjoyed your post.. Truly said, we just start to act fine when called aunty coz my growing age doesn't effect our way to look at life
ReplyDelete