WOW – “When Dad shed a silent tear”

‘This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’

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She lay on the grim hospital bed, tubes pricked through her mercilessly. She was unconscious for eight hours now and the family had been pacing the halls nervously, until the doctor appeared a few minutes ago.

"The esophagus is bruised badly due to the harsh chemicals of the detergent. It will be a few weeks before she recovers fully. But she is out of danger right now", the doctor informed unsympathetically. He gave a condescending look at the father and then walked away, shaking his head and muttering something to the nurse who nodded at him with full agreement.

Mr. Prasad, relaxing a bit for the first time in 24 hours, sat down tired. After the doctor declared her out of danger, he had persuaded his distraught wife to go home and rest. He was alone now, slumped on a chair, watching his daughter fight for life in the dimly lit room. Thoughts raced in his mind. The last few days turned their life upside down and it was only now that he felt composed and strong enough to mull over what happened.

"Life is funny, isn't it Aarti? All it takes is a moment's decision to flip your life. But it takes ages to heal.

I don't know how long it will be before we begin to feel normal. Things are not the same, within us, around us. Ramesh Uncle shut the door on me the other day as I approached him to say hello. A day after you were gone. Not just him, all our neighbors have distanced themselves. They don't talk to us anymore. We have stopped trying too. Your mum is shocked that Radhika Aunty, her closest friend, wasn't even a friend. They say, when times get rough, you will know your true friends. Looks like we have none.

Your grandpa had called yesterday and he blamed your mum. He said she wasn't fit to be a mother. That she couldn't raise a daughter well. I disagree with him. Wasn't she always there when you needed her, like a friend ? Wasn't she the one who convinced me to let you join the dance class? She had told me that's where your heart lay, and that we should let you follow your dreams. How proud I was of her then. I still am. But how naive she was to not understand that freedom comes with a great risk. Now, she is shattered. I just hope she doesn't change her way of thinking.

I haven't gone to office for almost a week now. Nobody has even called to check. They probably don't want to embarrass me. Mrs Kapoor calls regularly though. To check on how you are doing. Although I am sure her agenda is to get first hand information so she can be the gossip provider at work. You know how it works, right? The society. It hugs you and then stabs you in the back. Surprisingly, it is not affecting me. How much can it hurt me, when compared to how much I already am?

The last few days have been a blur. Things happened so fast. We finding you missing from home. Prajesh uncle's frantic call to inform us that he saw you outside the registrar office and that you might have gotten married. When we confirmed that your clothes were missing, your mom fainted. It took me a good ten minutes to register what was happening. It was as if the earth gave way beneath me. Like I fell into an unending pit. When I finally gathered myself, I called up Dinkar uncle from the police. And we waited, for you to call. We had no clue where you were or who that guy was, and your phone was switched off. We just prayed for you to be safe and hoped that you would call us. But you didn't. Not until the next day.

I remember your first words. They still ring in my ears. "I am safe. I got married. Don't look for me". And then you hung up. I couldn't believe my ears. Is this my little girl? Your mother was beside me, her swollen eyes full of tears, hope and questions. How could I tell her that you did not care about us?

And then last night. It was horrific. I can only imagine the pain you must be going through to have taken such a drastic step. We will teach that guy and his family a lesson. For putting you to shame. For betraying you. For giving in to his family pressure. He had no right to take you with him if he had no guts to stand by you. I could sense your anguish when you muttered unintelligibly "How could he do this to me" as you were taken into the operation theater. I could totally understand because I felt exactly the same thing. How could you?

No, I am not angry my child. Just hurt. Still in disbelief that you could do it. So easily. And feeling like an utter failure as a father isn't helping. Feeling betrayed. I keep telling your mom that its not our fault. That you are old enough to be responsible for your actions. But deep down, some questions nag at me. What stopped you from approaching us? What was lacking in our upbringing that made you severe our 25-year-old bond so easily? What is it that made you so selfish and unapologetic?

I can never ask you these questions, not at the risk of another radical reaction. I can only ponder and search for answers in your eyes.

When you wake up and come home, I hope you learn to love life once again. People wont say a word but their disguised sympathies and cold looks will be enough to break you once more. I hope you will find the strength to get past them. You can pull through this, dear child. We are there with you. "