Sunday, November 21, 2010

Time to change shoes..

When I look at my dad...

He doesnt look the same these days.He is getting older and the various tests life puts him through are proving to be tough and more than he bargained for..

When I look at his eyes..

I can see they are tired.. and i can also see that they are trying harder to hold back the twinkle that always reminded me of his childlike energy.

When I look at his face..

The once tough face appears withdrawn..
there are more lines now, each telling a story that screams of hard work...

I realised this when he picked me up from office one day..on his bike.The once strong hold that he had, how deftly he used to maneuver through the enormous traffic.His strength fails him now.He was unable to drive steadily..especially with me behind.. his hands ached and his head throbbed..
I said.." are getting old..."

He is tough, but the sailing seems to be tougher..The outbursts have increased,patience levels dipping lower n lower.Pain seems more painful and less endurable..

And when I look at him again.. I remember the times when,instead of being grateful that he still picks me up from the bus stop after a hectic day, I got impatient with him for being a little late,.. the times I got irritated instead of hearing him out patiently when he told me something twice so I wudnt forget.. the times when I answered him back when I should have taken it in my stride... the times when I was blind enough not to have seen that all he needed was a little patience and more care..

...and I hate myself..

He is trying ..trying hard to remain the same he was 10 yrs ago.Back then,he could easily work 15 hrs a day..walk miles of distance.. and yet manage to take us out for dinner or rush to somebody who needed him..without a wince..without a whine...And he is trying because he has no son who can look after bigger things.I try to fit into that relieve him of the burdens that I can shoulder instead.. but its still limited.

But I try to bring him to face reality.He is not 40 something man now,with loads of overflowing vigor.He is bordering 60 and should have the much needed rest.

When I look at my dad now..I feel so proud.Here is my dad who knows no limits to benevolence.. has endless time for family... who goes an extra mile to keep his word..who carries his absent-mindedness gracefully..who can cry while watching kabhi khushi kabhi gham and yet lament "what third-class movie it was !"....

And when I look at my dad.. How secure I feel.. I can always remain his little kid and he , my strong father.How I want to keep him happy...

PS: This is for all those who have parents hovering around 60s or more.. to let them know that times have changed..and its time we change our shoes...time to exchange roles... and stand by them.


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