Monday, September 21, 2015

Erika


She is creating ruffles in the entire region. She is making a few of my team members relocate, forced the  management to enforce a freeze and also postponed a production deployment.

No I am not talking about a "hot" employee. Erika is the hurricane that's making its way to Florida and the Caribbean.

She is creating a lot of flutter. We are getting emails to update emergency contact numbers, to stock up our homes with enough food and water, keep the car fuelled. She also triggered conversations about dying and who will inherit the legacy of support management.

I am excited. I have never seen a hurricane. I don't wish for anything drastic or life threatening, but I really hope Erika lives up to the little expectations I have !

And I really hope I have communicated clearly to whoever grants wishes that it should not be life threatening. An experience of sorts, a slight jhatka. I have more often than not been severely reprimanded for having such idiotic ideas, but experiences maketh life.


PS : Nothing happened. Erika ditched us . Not even a drop of rain. It was business as usual.

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Ritual.

"Had a birthday party in office Amma. Don't wait for me .. have your dinner ". She giggled as she hung up the phone.It was time for their evening ritual. Of panipuri and coconut water. As she removed the scarf from her face and he removed the helmet, the pani puri walla greeted them with a smile and started making their usual order. "Garmagaram" panipuri followed by a meetha.

"you still want the coconut water ?" He teased when she finished licking the last traces of the masala. "You don't drink water after eating ? Its just like water !" she slammed back.

This was an everyday routine that both loved to do.


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"Ting!" Her cell phone chimed and a picture of Farhan showed up. He had taken a selfie while having his favourite blackbean burger in the hospital cafeteria and the picture was goofy, making her chuckle. She noticed he was wearing the striped blue shirt. That always made him look young. How she missed him.
She was still at her desk, wrapping up an article she was writing. She adjust her hair a little, pouted her lips and took a selfie. "Muah!" She sent him her picture. Her eyes scrolled down at the history of conversations that transpired between them. The last message was just this morning." Good morning beautiful! I hope I can see you tonight .."

Both were waiting for Sunday - the only day they get to be together.

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They retired to bed early that night. She was reading a novel..and her face shone in the dim bedside lamp. He suppressed a laugh as her facial expressions changed while reading the book. He didn't want her to know he was looking at her.

She was startled by sudden sound of shooting. The war had started and he was fully involved in it. It was his favourite game "Clash of clans". She wondered what was so interesting..he had been playing since 2 years now. Nothing could disturb him then. His fingers were moving frantically, probably to replenish his weapons. He looked very focused to win this war. As always. And he would lose. As always. His childish antics charmed her. The boyish side of him kind of filled the stark vacuum of their childless home.
She ran her toes  up his legs, trying to irritate him. No reaction. She gave up and went back to her book.

In two minutes, she was being tickled all over and their laughter faded into the night..

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The creek glistened in the shining sun, sparkling as if covered with a thousand diamonds. The sun was about to set, creating a mesmerizing blanket of sheer beauty on its way down. This was the time he liked the most. It always amused him how the sun, which was shining mightily one moment, slowly faded , without much ado.Without much ego.  How he wished humans behaved that way.

There were a few evening joggers. He sat on the bench, his usual spot. Under a tree. From here, he could watch the hues changing. The skies switching shades from a pleasant blue to a much more somber grey. A goose that was trotting around him all this while, suddenly took flight across the creek.

He felt close to nature. It allowed him to think.

Within no time, it was dusk and then pitch dark.
 

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 Its funny how a routine can bring about that missing spark. Its supposed to be boring , right? I guess its probably because of the comfort we find in each other. In what we do.The predictability of something that is so important to you , that you can let go , and look beyond the seemingly ordinary liaisons. The sweet nothings actually create an emotional connection. You don't plan it, it just happens. Every day, as naturally as it can be. These moments are so simple in their existence that for an outsider, the magic of the moment is often impalpable.

It just takes two hearts and a little bit of devotion for a routine to become a ritual.






Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Childhood..





Running on the roads along with spare tyres. Collecting pepsi crowns. Marbles. Thokkudu billa. Ice gola. Color pepsi in long plastic covers. Housie housie with sarees . Hide n seek in the parking lot- amidst scooters and cars. Kho Kho. Gully cricket with a team that had 8 yr olds to 18 yrs olds. Broken window panes. Fighting for balls. Getting drenched under the water hose.


Doordarshan. Srimaan ji Srimati ji. Chitrahaar. Ruthuraagalu. Chandrakaantha. Mahabhaarat. Rangoli. Shaktiman. Disney hour. Tom n Jerry. Aahat. Zee horror show. Raja aur Rancho.


Rough notes with left over pages of used books. Multi-colored pens. Smell of fresh new notebooks. 



Enid Blyton. Secret Seven.Scamper.Jack.George.Peter.Colin.Barbara.Pam.Scamper.Famous Five.Julian.Dick.George.Anne.Timmy.Five Find-outers.Frederick Trotteville a.k.a Fatty.Larry.Daisy.Pip.Bets.
Tinkle.Chamataka.Kalia.Hodja.Tantri.Suppandi.Shikari Shambu.Kapish.Uncle Anu and Uncle Pai
Hardy Boys.Frank and Joe
Agatha Christie.Jeffrey Archer.Irving Wallace.Arthur Hailey

One scooter, 4 people - the biggest luxury.


Stealing one rupee to buy osmania biscuits - the biggest guilt.


Reading - favorite pastime.


Exams - the biggest fear.


Homework - the only responsibility.


Tirupati - the ultimate holiday destination.


Julian of Famous Five - Biggest crush


Gokul Chat - the only hangout spot


Tank bund - favourite Sunday destination


Coming to think of it, I was blessed to have a beautiful childhood.All I have  now is just memories, actually, vague memories.It just takes second for a moment to become past, to become a memory among hordes of others.This is what I remember of my childhood, etched somewhere in the corner of my brain.I am afraid I will lose this too...


How was yours ? And what is it that you remember the most of your childhood ?



Gully Cricket.




Ice Gola



Marbles




Family on a Scooter


The other woman





I heard them laugh in the other room
Cheerful banter it seemed
How can he be happy without me
Was the first thought that came to me

The lazy times he spends with her
The stray strands of hair that he removes from her face
How I wish that was me
For his attention, it has become a race

Its hard for me to accept
that somebody else is also important to him
Its even harder to realize that
he can love somebody else as much as he loves me

The distance is growing between us
all that matters now is her
Why doesn't he see what it is doing to me
Have I become a blur?

However hard I try, I cannot  just ignore
It is eating me from inside.
My heart aches to share him
A part of me already died

I dont know why I feel jealous
I dont know why I bother
Despite knowing the fact that 
The other woman is his mother.


PS : This can be a mother's feelings too, when her son gets married. This is just from where I stand :)


Friday, November 21, 2014

Destroyed in love





I sleep with fears crowding my head
Fears that I cannot tell
My head keeps throbbing all the time
as if living in hell.

Multiple emotions bottled up inside
Anger,sadness,frustration and hatred
Showing any of these would only mean
tearing you into shreds

Smiling is painful these days
But Smile I should
With feelings playing havoc in my mind
I was doing all I could

My wings have been clipped
I have fallen with a thud
Our life had just started together
But it was nipped in the bud

I cannot handle this anymore
I want to give up and run away
All I have to ask you is to let me go
I can pick up my pieces and walk away

Thats easier said than done
Without you I cannot be sane
My heart yearns to be with you
despite all the pain

I know its not your fault
Even to you, it was a rude shock
You held us together in these trying times
And stood as strong as a rock

My place is beside you
When it shines and when it rains
How much ever I hate it
I will learn to love again

I cannot bear to leave you alone
everything seems so unfair
Sometimes,it just takes a second 
for hope to change to despair

I promise I will be there with you
together we will deal with this blow
Thats the right thing to do
even if it means being destroyed in love.









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